Itazura
by Lady Oni
Summary: The tale of a love triangle between D, Leon . . . .and a cat.


AN: Konichi wa! This story is a byproduct of me, Kami-chan, and Eriya at about 1am after watching the POH anime for the first time (we'd already read the manga). So it's a bit, how should I say it _interesting_. Anyway it's our first POH story so forgive any OOC. 

Disclaimer: Don't own it (won't until we take over the world) 

Warnings:Shonen-ai, language, bad grammar and spelling. 

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"Hey Count ya here?!" Leon threw open the door and made his way down the steps into the all too familiar pet shop, as was the norm these days. 

"Queep Queep." An annoyed blur of brown came to a halt inches from the detective's face. 

Leon shoved the babbit out of the way, " Count will you get yer little demon . . .bat . . .henchmen-type . . thing away from me!" 

A soft voice lilted from the back, " Now detective, is that any way to talk to Q-chan after he merely asked you to shut the door." 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. When's tea?" As the detective turned to shut the door a flash of pink attached itself to Leon's ankle. "Owch! D get your damned demonic goat henchman like thing away from me!" As Leon managed to fling the tou-tetsu across the room, landing on his feet. The "goat" ran to find another piece of furniture from which to launch an ambush on the poor detective. 

"Glad to know that I have two henchmen that I may call on to protect me from free-loading detectives that happen to occasion by the shop at precisely tea time." 

"Haha. I've always had good timing for food." Leon retorted as he plopped down on the couch in his usual spot, stealing a strawberry from the hovering Q-chan. "Thanks, usa-oni." Leon mumbled as he popped the strawberry into his mouth. Q-chan retaliated by kicking Leon's teacup over and spilling the contents on Leon's jeans. Leon jumped to his feet cursing the babbit, now sulking over Count D's shoulder, to his own private Hell. Pon-chan decided at that moment to steal one of Leon's tea cakes while a snake took the opportunity to scare Leon ( a private enjoyment) as well as reclaim his spot prior to Leon's intrusion. "Christ D, is there an animal in here that doesn't hate me or find enjoyment in my suffering." 

D continued to sip his tea calmly, perfectly composed with nothing more than a sly smile over his cup to betray his emotions, while T-chan growled softly from somewhere in the room. A golden brown siamese cat jumped up onto the couch and began to purr for petting. Leon sat back down and the cat climbed into his lap while Leon began to absent-mindedly scratch it behind the ears. 

"Actually, D, I came here wondering about getting' a pet. I've been kinda lonely at home and thought that since you own a pet store and are such a CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND that maybe you could give me a small, itsy-bitsy discount? After all, I make no money as a homicidal, I mean homicide, detective." 

"I'm glad that you are finally interested in my trade. How may I help you?" Count D was trying very hard not to twitch at the cat-woman which was so happily purring in Leon's lap, content to rub her head against Leon's stomach. Leon, of course, was completely oblivious to what was really going on. 

"I was hoping for somethin' easy to take care of. Like a cat or somethin'." The Count couldn't hide his twitch, but it went unnoticed by Leon. "Maybe I could adopt this pretty kitty?" Leon asked hopefully, scratching the loudly purring cat beneath it's chin. The scantily clad cat woman gave a victorious smirk towards D while climbing up Leon to lay herself around his shoulders. "Please, D? Please?" 

D was glaring at the cat, mentally scolding it, remembering to later punish it by locking it in a room alone with T-chan. At that moment, D was relieved from having to pry the cat-woman off of Leon when Leon's cell phone rang. "Yo? Oh, yeah, Jill. I'll be right there. No, I wasn't having tea with D." Leon stuck his tongue out mouthing the words 'nosy woman' silently. " What?! No I was not calling you nosy! See ya at the office." Leon hung up and sighed loudly. "Like Hell she has psychic woman powers!" D stood up and walked toward the officer. 

"Why don't I walk you to the door, detective? We can discuss the adoption of an animal later, when it is more convenient." D's happy air made Leon wonder a bit. 

" I didn't think I was that bad of company. Sheesh, a guy can't get a break nowhere." 

D mentally replied, "I don't want you to leave, I just want you away from that pesky cat!" Out loud he said, "It is nothing personal. I must give all the animals their medications and lately the raccoon has been having a terrible time, throwing up all the time and I must clean out the cages…" 

"I get it, D. Let's not get into details. I'll leave you to it. See ya later." 

"Have a pleasant day, officer." D shut the door quietly as Leon walked out of the corridor. D spun around and faced the offensive cat. "Don't even think for a moment that I will allow you to live with Leon, alone and unsupervised! I know you to well, itazura!" 

"You take away my fun, D." I-chan purred as she stretched on the couch. " How bad would I behave?" D sulked over to the chair he favored, T-chan jumped up onto D's lap from under the couch Leon had been sitting on. 

"Why do you try me so, itazura?" 

_Do not bother with that MORTAL, D. I will always be there for you._ T-chan nuzzled D. D suddenly smiled evilly and placed T-chan on the floor. 

"Itazura, when was the last time you and T-chan had a nice intimate talk? I think it might be time for another." D quickly grabbed the cat by the scruff of her neck. " Come T-chan. You and I-chan have much to catch up on." 

~*~ 

Leon bounced down the steps and into the door cheerfully. Once again Q-chan began to scold the detective in his own little Queep language. "So sorry," Leon smiled sweetly as he kicked the door closed with his back foot. 

A raven haired head popped around the corner, its mixed-matched eyes a bit TOO wide, " Good . . .afternoon . . officer?" 

Leon smiled, "And a good afternoon to you too Count. Brought ya some um . . .whatever thoses things you really like from the hotel de Mar . . .Mar . . .mar-somethin'," He said holding the box up. 

D suddenly appeared before Leon, hands clasped in a begging manner and watering puppy-dog eyes that somehow didn't seem to fit the small Chinese man. "Could it be! Yes the aroma of De Champagne from the Hotel de Marseilles! I'll go put on the tea!" 

As D stepped out of the entry the flying pink rug Tuos-Chanious, commonly known as T-chan barreled at the animated officer with full intent on removing an appendage . . . .or two.(surely D wouldn't mind TOO much) Leon, off in his own world, somehow, for once, managed to side step the supersonic horned furball. T-chan, being not so lucky, found himself connecting firmly, and quite suddenly, with the solid oak doors. 

Leon bent down and patted the recovering T-chan on the head, " Good morning T-chan." 

D came out with the tea, " . . . Did you just call T-chan by his name?" Previously D had been unaware that the detective knew the animal's name . . .then again he hadn't been sure if Leon knew the tou-tetsu HAD a name. 

The two men sat in the common room D pouring the tea and serving the sweets. As he sat down to savor his own he noticed the blond fidgeting and not touching anything. Odd, considering the seemingly unending and ravenous appetite he usually supported. 

" And what exactly might be running through your mind detective," the count asked over his cup of tea. 

"I was just wondering how the . . .um pets . . .well, the cat is doing. I mean you did say we'd talk about adopting it at a more convenient time, and this seems like more convenient time ne?" 

"Well you see . . ." D began setting down his tea, " It's a rather interesting story . . ." 

(20 min later

Leon blinked thoroughly confused, " So let me get this straight," he sat forward counting off on his fingers, " So first she ran away, then got hit by a car and chased up twenty flights of stairs by a rabid dog, to be chased out of the window of said twentieth story, into the ocean . . .and the tornado came in where?" 

D calmly picked up his teacup and took a sip before answering, "It sucked her out of the ocean." 

Leon cocked an eyebrow, "I gotta say I find yer story hard to believe since there's the cat." He gestured behind the Count as said cat leapt over him and into Leon's lap. 

D nearly choked on his tea as he hastily set down his cup, then clasping his hands melodramatically he exclaimed (with no real enthusiasm) "Oh hallelujah, it's a miracle. Remind me to start praying to the gods . . .for the health of CERTAIN animals," as he said this a dejected, and still slightly dizzy, tou-tetsu scrambled to hide under the couch opposite D. 

Leon set his cup down to lavish attention on the content I-chan as D barely concealed a twitch of anger. " So anyway about adopting the cat?" 

" I don't think that cat is quite . . ." D clenched his teeth she wrapped her arms around his neck, " . . .quite compatible with you. How about a bird?" 

"Naw never really been fond of birds. Either way this cat seems to be the only thing in this store that isn't interested in mauling me." 

" I beg to differ. I am sure that the birds would not try to maul you. And besides, have I ever tried to viciously attack you?" 

" Well, ya haven't tried to yet, but then I get nervous every time I bring over a treat. I'm afraid of the one time I slip up and bring somethin' bad. Back to the cat." Leon shifted position and faced D with a serious look on his face. "I would very much like to take in this adorable Siamese. What's its name?" 

"Her name is itazura, and it means mischief-for a good reason. Are you absolutely sure you wish to take in this annoying furball? I'm sure we can find an animal in the back that will fit your true hopes and desires." 

"Welllll, what kind of animals do ya have in back?" 

"Ones that are not in the normal animal trade and must be sheltered from the scrutinizing view of those that do not believe in myths." D stood and directed Leon to a pair of closed doors. " These animals are ones that are promised to fulfill your hopes, dreams, and desires. After all, that's what a pet is all about." Before Leon entered the doors he turned to D and promised him, 

" D, I swear that I'm leavin' a note that says 'If you find me dead under mysterious circumstances, arrest Count D as my murderer through indirect association.' " 

"As you wish, officer. Now come and see some animals that are guaranteed to fill your loneliness." The pair entered a dim room that was hazy due to the incense smoke. Leon saw distorted human shapes. Some had long, pointed ears. Most had tails and manes that fell down their backs in a tumble of hair. As the room began to lighten, Leon saw a group of cat-people that lounged over the furniture in the large room. 


End file.
